Pro-adultery voters shifting from Cain to Gingrich

This piece by Andy Borowitz was written several days ago. It was prescient and hilarious—at least to non-Gingrich voters or Cain fans.

 

As Cain Drops Out, Pro-Adultery Voters Shift to Gingrich

Biggest GOP Voting Bloc, Experts Say

CONCORD, NH (The Borowitz Report) – Herman Cain withdrew from the Republican presidential race today, a move that resulted in millions of pro-adultery voters shifting their support to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

The shift in support is significant because pro-adultery voters represent the single largest voting bloc in the Republican Party, experts say.

Tracy Klugian, a prominent adulterer from Concord, New Hampshire, said he was sorry to see Mr. Cain leave the race “because he was very committed to the one issue I care about: namely, adultery.”

But he added that he had been in touch with many other adulterers in the state and that they were all switching to Mr. Gingrich.

“Even when we were supporting Cain, a lot of us were supporting Gingrich behind his back,” the adulterer said.  “I guess that’s how we do.”

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4 Responses to “Pro-adultery voters shifting from Cain to Gingrich”

  1. jan chapman Says:

    To what depths will the Republican Party sink? Consensual, duplicitous sex is acceptable over coerced sex? As bad as the Obama choice is, it is volumes better than any of the Republicans. I continue to work for him to get reelected, simply because I feel I have more influence with him than anyone on the Republican ticket.

  2. Ethics Bob Says:

    Actually it looks like consensual sex is what done him in. The accusations of coercion seem to have rolled off him.

  3. Jim Jansen Says:

    Ron Paul 2012!!!! A no brainer if you take the time to read history and educate yourself on today’s current events.

    • Ethics Bob Says:

      I like Paul and I admire his integrity, but his libertarianism won’t work in our complex society. We as a people have interests that demand government actions beyond what paul would take.

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